Evita Journal Entry

April 1, 1950

Dear Diary,

Today started off just as any other. I woke up in the presidential residence, had tea in the parlor, was later served breakfast and then taken off to get measured for a dress I am wearing at an event next month.  Sometimes I wonder if these activities are really made out for me. Sure, it’s nice getting taken care of, but not for every second of your day. That’s why I find relief in going out and interacting with the people. It makes me feel like a real person. I feel like their friend, and I hope they consider me one.  I get frustrated being kept in this house, gated off and blocked to the public.  Why is it that I must be so separated? Sometimes I have doubt about marrying into this life.  I was just an ordinary girl, and sometimes thats all I wish I still was.  However, I recognize the power that I have in my position and the ability to effect change. Remembering how much I can help people keeps me going when I have doubts. I feel a connection to the people, as I once stood where they stand. I want them to know that I feel their pain, and that is my motivation to better their lives.  When I wake up in the morning, I automatically start thinking of new plans I can put into effect, what changes I can make, where I want to visit, who I want to help, and more.  Getting my measurements taken distracts me from this and seems like such an unnecessary task when there are so many bigger things out there to do. It is these dreams that I hope will outlive me. My greatest fear in life is to be forgotten, and wasting my mornings drinking tea and having extravagant breakfasts take time away from doing something worthy of being remembered by.  I want to change the world, and show the people that others do care, and that I want them to have the best life they can.  While the world can be unfair, I think it is my job to better the lives of those suffering.  I wish every minute of my day could be dedicated to this, but unfortunately it can’t.  There are far more important things out there than how my makeup looks for an interview.  I hope that one day, all of the fake things going around can be eliminated, and those things that really matter brought to light. Perhaps I will wake up feeling better tomorrow and be able to start thinking about solutions to my many dilemmas.

Love,

Evita